You’re The Pleaser
Kind, Supportive, and Ready to Use Your Voice
You’re the one everyone can count on. You hold space, smooth over conflicts, and make sure the people around you feel cared for. Your kindness is a gift. It’s one of your greatest strengths.
But here’s the hard truth: constantly putting others first often leaves you last. You may feel invisible, resentful, or unsure of what you really want. You give so much, yet struggle to ask for anything in return.
The Belief That’s Kept You Safe
You may have told yourself:
“If I set boundaries, people will leave me. My needs don’t matter.”
That belief once kept you connected. It helped you avoid conflict, ensured acceptance, and gave you a sense of belonging when relationships felt fragile. But now, it’s draining you. Instead of closeness, it often leaves you feeling unseen and unappreciated.
The Truth Your Heart Knows
Here’s what’s real:
Boundaries are not rejection, they are protection. Your voice matters.
Speaking up for yourself doesn’t push people away; it draws the right people closer. Boundaries create the space where your relationships can thrive, built on respect instead of self-sacrifice.
Your First Step Back to Yourself
To begin reclaiming your voice, try the Voice Reclamation Exercise from the book "Unapologetically You". This simple five minute practice will help you get clear on your yes, your no, and your maybe. It is your first step toward honoring your needs without apology and speaking your truth with confidence.
1. Find stillness. Sit somewhere quiet with a notebook and pen, or open a blank document. Take one deep breath in, one long exhale out.
2. Think of a recent situation where someone asked something of you, or where you felt pressure to agree.
3. Write three columns on your page (or imagine them clearly in your mind):
YES: What feels like a genuine yes for you
NO: What feels like a boundary or limit
MAYBE: What you need more clarity or time to decide on
4. Place the situation into a column. For example, if a friend asked you to take on an extra task and you felt exhausted, it might belong in your NO column.
5. Say it out loud. Whisper or speak the word: “Yes” … “No” … “Maybe.” Notice how your body reacts to each one. Your body will often signal relief or tension when you land in the right column.
6. Anchor your truth. Close your eyes, put your hand on your chest, and affirm: “My voice matters. My needs matter. My truth is safe.”
When You’re Ready for More
The Voice Reclamation Exercise is just the beginning.
In my book "Unapologetically You", you’ll discover how to:
- Set boundaries with confidence so you stop feeling drained and start protecting your peace (Chapter 6)
- Use scripts for fearless expression so your voice is heard and respected (Chapter 7)
- Protect your energy in a loud and demanding world, so you can care for others without losing yourself (Chapter 8)
This book is your roadmap to honoring your needs unapologetically, while deepening your relationships instead of losing them.
Your Next Move
Your kindness is powerful, but it’s time to stop silencing yourself to keep the peace.
Get "Unapologetically You" and start honoring your needs without guilt, without apology, and without fear of losing love.
